Aphei – it is kind to ask for help

Through Toke Møller,one of many teachers (although an unofficial one), I was reminded of Aphei, an ancient practice that means:  It is kind to ask for help.

 A person who

cannot

ask for help

cannot

be trusted

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to see how people flourish through the helping process. During a 3-day event, we collaborated, shared laughs and information and worked together. Finally, we closed the event with a session of co-creation: a group of people presented projects, and  the rest of the attendees formed small groups and supported one of this project with our expertise, questions and suggestions.  For some hours, we became their consultants and our clients shared their needs and information about their projects. 

ask for help 2013

It’s amazing to see how this simple practice of asking for help and being open to receive it can change a person and a situation so much. The process of helping also enriches the helper, and although there are some rules that need to be considered in order to be helpful, when we help from a place of respect and appreciation for the other person, both grow.  We usually think that asking for help will make us vulnerable, but the reality is that if we don’t ask for help when we need it, the things that we fear most (losing control and being vulnerable) will probably happen.  Remember, all the problems start small.

LET’S WORK!

Think of a topic where you need some help: either input, questions or help in the execution of something. Be careful with requesting advice, as the responsibility should always rely on you and not on the other person, remember also that an advice that is not followed usually has an impact on relationships.

Be clear on the type of help you may need and find who is the best person to provide it. Ask the person if they would be willing to help you with your process, allow them the opportunity to decline, and explain briefly the topic. If they decline, say thanks, too. It takes courage to do it.

If they accept, proceed to give a more detailed explanation: what happened, what did you do, who else is involved, what do you think the problem may be, and clarify what would you like to achieve. Be open to answer questions and be challenged on your assumptions. Ask for clarification if it’s needed and be open to co-create new results. Finally, always remember to be grateful!

Feel free to contact me if you need some help : ) or leave a comment!

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