New Beginnings

People say that a new year is a new beginning. A lot of people feel a stronger need of change during the holidays, perhaps because the new year brings a new chapter in our lives; but I suspect that often, the reason behind our need for changes and resolutions is that with each new year, we become aware of how time is slipping through our fingers and that we have less time to achieve our plans.

I truly believe anytime is a great time to slow down, dream, and plan how to make our dreams part of our reality. My last post was about the dreamlining process and I wanted to talk this time about career planning, but I’m still inspired by quotes, readings, and conversations that I have had during the last couple of weeks and I would like to invite you explore with me what is your true calling.

I don’t believe we’re in this amazing world to push papers (or as we say in Spanish, to drag a pencil) and although I don’t believe that there are jobs unworthy by themselves, I’m convinced that we need to run away from a job that doesn’t nourishing our souls. I believe we all have a higher purpose related to the gifts we received when we came to this life,  that we all have a piece to the puzzle of Life and that we won’t thrive as humankind until we work together and we share our gifts with everyone.

Of course, I understand the pressing needs of living in this world, paying rent and buying food, but I also believe that when we do what we love, we thrive.  We need to find our purpose in this life, and as Zig Ziegler said, if you cannot find your purpose, find your passion, and this will lead you to your purpose. 

LET’S WORK!

Finding our purpose is not an easy task. I, myself, still wonder what am I supposed to do with the gifts I received and the competencies I have developed.  However, when I followed the advice of teachers and friends, I was able to find my passion. Finding your passion could be done in different ways, but here are my suggestions:

-Ask yourself (and your family  and/or friends) what is what you loved to do when you were a kid. This is frequently a key to find our passion.

-Ask yourself, if money and financial responsibilities weren’t an issue, what I would like to do?

-Which activities do you find exciting?

-If you could only work 2 hours per day, what would you do? If you could only work two hours per week, what would you do?

Don’t forget to explore your vision, create your vision board and include your findings in it. Finding our passion is also a journey, where both, the journey and the destination are important. Don’t forget to enjoy this discovery process and don’t be afraid of the time this process will take.

Also, please share with us what else have you done to find your passion or your purpose, and feel free to ask any questions.

Aphei – it is kind to ask for help

Through Toke Møller,one of many teachers (although an unofficial one), I was reminded of Aphei, an ancient practice that means:  It is kind to ask for help.

 A person who

cannot

ask for help

cannot

be trusted

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to see how people flourish through the helping process. During a 3-day event, we collaborated, shared laughs and information and worked together. Finally, we closed the event with a session of co-creation: a group of people presented projects, and  the rest of the attendees formed small groups and supported one of this project with our expertise, questions and suggestions.  For some hours, we became their consultants and our clients shared their needs and information about their projects. 

ask for help 2013

It’s amazing to see how this simple practice of asking for help and being open to receive it can change a person and a situation so much. The process of helping also enriches the helper, and although there are some rules that need to be considered in order to be helpful, when we help from a place of respect and appreciation for the other person, both grow.  We usually think that asking for help will make us vulnerable, but the reality is that if we don’t ask for help when we need it, the things that we fear most (losing control and being vulnerable) will probably happen.  Remember, all the problems start small.

LET’S WORK!

Think of a topic where you need some help: either input, questions or help in the execution of something. Be careful with requesting advice, as the responsibility should always rely on you and not on the other person, remember also that an advice that is not followed usually has an impact on relationships.

Be clear on the type of help you may need and find who is the best person to provide it. Ask the person if they would be willing to help you with your process, allow them the opportunity to decline, and explain briefly the topic. If they decline, say thanks, too. It takes courage to do it.

If they accept, proceed to give a more detailed explanation: what happened, what did you do, who else is involved, what do you think the problem may be, and clarify what would you like to achieve. Be open to answer questions and be challenged on your assumptions. Ask for clarification if it’s needed and be open to co-create new results. Finally, always remember to be grateful!

Feel free to contact me if you need some help : ) or leave a comment!

The Change Process

The map is not the territory but, God, it helps!

Lacking clarity is one of the first obstacles to change. We face the unknown every single day, but we tend to approach life in very small steps that allow small room to chaos. We try to predict outcomes and we plan in consequence. However, there are moments when we don’t really have a clue. We’re totally lost and are not sure about what the next steps are, what we might need or how to ask for help.

Changes are not always voluntary and easy. When we feel forced to change we might feel we’re losing something. This model,  based on the Kübler-Ross model of transition dealing with loss, considers the productivity and morale that will go down during the change process and will go back to normal once that the team/person are committed again to the change. Of course, the different stages are not rigid, and may vary in duration for different people. 

personal change curve.png

However, the curve is not so simple, it usually looks like this: 

© 2000 / 3 JM Fisher.

Most of the change management model talk about this curve. Project Managers and Change Management specialists know that more than 70% of the change initiatives will fail if they don’t have enough support through change.

We know that people may move from anxiety to hope or happiness and then descend into fear, guilt and sadness because of the loss, and that these feelings will probably hinder the change process.

Each person may experience different emotions at different pace. Each change process is also different. Depending on what is happening in their lives, people may start another curve and go deeper in these negative emotions.

Understanding the process makes easier going through it. This is why is important to reach out for help or at least support when we’re dealing with difficult changes in our lives.

In a future post, we’ll discuss how to move through the different stages and how to move forward to acceptance instead of staying stuck in depression or hostility.

But, for now, remember that you’re not alone. If you’re feeling sad, lost or unaccomplished, or think that you won’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, you need to remember that each project that is worth doing, takes time, energy and courage.